We allow ourselves to be influenced by the people we like. The reason good salespeople are known to be friendly (some even hyper-friendly) is because they understand this core principle: being likable is one of the quickest ways to being influential.

The reason we are turned off by “pushy” salespeople is their attempts to be likable are almost laughably transparent. And absolutely inauthentic.

The key to creating a bond through your writing (and any other form of communication that involves language) is surprisingly simple.

Be yourself.

For sure, be the best self you can authentically be. But don’t try to be something you’re not; people can smell that incongruence a mile away, and it’s definitely a turnoff.

So how does this apply to writing in order to achieve bonding?

In my experience, most people who write for the purpose of strategic influence (to get other people to do something) develop a rather formal way of writing. Part of what happens when they adopt that formal style of writing is their natural voice disappears. It’s as if this particular style of writing sends the unspoken message, “I’m not going to let you know anything about me, because if you did you wouldn’t like me.”

This is where we get rules of thumb like, “never talk about religion or politics”. That’s good advice if you don’t want to offend anyone. But how will you bond with people if you never let them know who you really are?

I’m not suggesting you try being purposely offensive. I’m simply saying let people see the “real you”.

You don’t have to write long diatribes about politics or religion. But you can certainly mention who you voted for, where you go to church… as well as the fact that you like to bowl, you’re vegan, you raise greyhounds, and even more unusual things (like your fear of wigs, or how you still watch Saturday morning cartoons).

All of this does start from a premise, which you need to be aware of: it is that you are, in ways that count, very similar to your prospective audience. I’m assuming that you’re in business because you have a love of certain things, and that you share those things in common with your customers and potential customers.

Thus, as you strategically reveal true qualities of your personality, your customers will be struck by a sense of recognition. And what they recognize is themselves. This, my friends, creates bonding. And it’s not the result of manipulation; it’s the result of being real.

Fair warning: this technique will not work if you’re the exact opposite of your customers.

I once worked with a client with a rather substantial business. During our first meeting we were discussing his customers and his prospects. I asked him, “What can you tell me about your customers?”

His answer startled me: “I don’t like them very much.”

It wasn’t difficult to figure out why his company was experiencing a downturn in business.

Do you like your customers very much?

And, more telling: are you very much like your customers?

While you don’t have to be like the people you sell to, it certainly doesn’t hurt.

And I propose to you that if you don’t like the people you sell to, it might be time to consider another line of work.

We are a world of people who love to be fascinated.

We obsess over our favorite celebrities, their lifestyles, relationships, and illnesses.

In her book, Fascinate, Sally Hogshead claims that the ability to create fascination is one of the most powerful ways of influencing behavior. She says, in fact, that it is “more persuasive than marketing, advertising, or any other form of communication.” While I don’t agree with all her conclusions, I do recommend her book.

So how do you make yourself, your ideas, your products and services more fascinating? The answer is surprisingly simple. Human beings are fascinated by a fairly narrow band of phenomena. Some things to keep in mind when writing to influence, with the end of creating more fascination in mind:

1. Curiosity. Who among us does not understand the intense allure of curiosity? This powerful point of fascination is magnetic in its ability to draw people into your story, to make them want to hear your message.
2. Fear. While I absolutely do not advocate the invocation of fear as a tool of manipulation, the recognition of pre-existing fears can be a powerful illumination for your communications. Know what makes people afraid, and you know how to engage them in conversation.
3. Power. Whether they admit it or not, nearly everyone wants more influence over others, in some way. “Power” in itself is neither good nor evil, but its appeal is nearly universal.
4. Identification with the object of their admiration. This is the very source of intense devotion, the driving force behind “fans” of all kinds. When we grant a person or even an organization our admiration, we experience an intense desire to be identified with that person or organization.

What is it about you, your company, your organization or product that already fascinates your customers?  Are there ways in which you can focus more on those aspects that are natural points of fascination for your audience? Are people fascinated with the wrong things about you? Are you?

All questions worth considering.

Whenever you are writing for the purpose of influencing other people (which pretty much includes all writing, doesn’t it?), it’s essential to know your strategic objective.

Strategy in this context means: the overall approach to achieving the outcome you want.

This may not be as simple as you think.

Even if you know your desired outcome is the sale of a product, you have only identified the target; that is not an answer to the question of strategy. The question of strategy is: how will I hit the target?

One possible strategy is: the creation of advocacy in the mind of your prospects. Let me explain.

The most straightforward product sale can be strongly influenced by first defining a position of advocacy you want the reader to adopt.

For instance: let’s assume you sell a highly commoditized product, like machine screws. How on earth could advocacy for some position or other influence the purchase of machine screws? Well..

Perhaps you begin by realizing your company has a commitment to using only the finest quality materials in the manufacture of your machine screws. Perhaps you further realize that you have unusual attention to detail in your manufacturing facility, and that this grows from the quality philosophy of your business. Maybe you believe that a lack of such strong standards is one of the things that have contributed to our current economic woes.

In the above scenario, you might choose to write and publish an essay on the importance of high standards not only in the manufacturing process, but also as the foundation of success upon which our country was built.

You might even go so far as to suggest that the solution to the economic problems facing our country is rooted in a return to this kind of commitment to quality.

If you publish this essay (or blog post, or podcast, or brochure, newsletter, even postcard) in a place where your potential buyers will encounter it, and if it is written powerfully, you stand a good chance of influencing their buying decisions about machine screws without ever overtly writing about that particular subject.

Of course, before you can authentically write to persuade people to adopt a position of advocacy, you first have to possess such a position yourself.

A worthwhile question to ponder: what do you stand for, and how does that relate to the world of the people you wish to influence?

Changing behaviors of your audience can be merely temporary; changing mindsets is more permanent, and changes behaviors automatically.

When writing for strategic influence, whether your outcome is intended to be the sale of a product or service, the adoption of an idea, or a certain outcome for your political candidate, you must begin with knowing your mythology.

No, I’m not talking about ancient Greece. When I say “mythology”, I’m referring to “story”.

I believe great marketing-and thus, great influence-starts with great stories. I’m not alone in this thought.

Seth Godin writes in his book All Marketers Are Storytellers, “Either you’re going to tell stories that spread, or you will become irrelevant.”

All the ground-shaking movements in history started with great stories. Our ancestors sat around the hearth and told stories that transmitted their values, their ideas, their wisdom and faith.

Jesus taught primarily through the telling of stories.

John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, and Martin Luther King all told stories that moved people to take action. You don’t have to agree with the ideologies of any of these people, by the way, to get the benefit of what I’m saying. All I’m attempting to do is point out the power of the story as a form of persuasion.

It’s important to understand that the story must be true. Telling lies simply won’t work, not to mention the fact that it’s wrong.

Before you begin your next writing project, whether it’s the book you’re working on, the sales material for your website, or the next speech you’re giving, become aware of the stories you’re telling (or the ones you’re not telling that you should be). Here are some qualities your stories (or mythology) should possess:

1. The stories you tell must, first of all, be true.
2. They must be told in the service of others. The goal of your story should be to impart something to hearer, not to manipulate them.
3. Your stories should appeal to emotion. No matter what people tell you, they buy your ideas, your products, and your services based on emotion-not based on logic.
4. Your stories should be told quickly, and in an entertaining fashion. In today’s world, people have limited patience for long-winded stories.
5. Don’t hit them over the head. The more subtle your story, the less overtly self-serving, the more you allow your reader to come to their own conclusions… the better.

So, what stories are you telling? Are they the right ones? How do you know?

Something to think about.

Today, I’m beginning a new series on the subject of “writing for strategic influence”.

This will be of interest if you want to use the power of persuasive writing to change, improve, expand, and empower your business.

But first, I’ll need you to bear with me; it’s necessary to explain the ideas behind this new series of articles.

The time has come to move beyond our old models of writing to persuade. [Read more...]