Archive for Self-Help
My answer: never. Here’s why…
Disputes of almost any kind always seem to devolve when one party questions the motives of another party.
The funny thing is, it’s virtually impossible to know for certain someone else’s motive for any given action or statement.
“Thought experiment” to see if I’m right: the next time you think you know why someone says or does a particular thing, stop and see if you can come up with 2 or 3 other explanations for why they may have said or done that same thing.
An even more interesting (and instructive) “thought experiment”: try coming up with explanations that are only positive in the motives you attribute to the other person… and then come up with an equal number of explanations that are only negatively motivated. Compare the two lists, and ask yourself: which ones look like the motives I most often instinctively ascribe to other people?
What did you learn?
It’s 2010.
New Year.
New possibilities.
Many of us will be making resolutions today for the new year — and many of us have already made those resolutions. And for most people, those resolutions will be broken before the calendar changes to February.
But that doesn’t have to be the case for you.
Knowing that most people break their resolutions is not a good reason for not even trying, is it?
For me, resolutions represent hope and aspiration. I applaud everyone making resolutions; and I challenge you to stick with them! Change can happen, and does; it is possible for you to stick with your resolutions. The real question is: will you?
Here are mine — a simple list, but high-leverage…
Ray’s 2010 New Year’s Resolutions
- Love God.
- Love others.
- Create value.
- Create happiness.
- Be here now.
- Clean up messes.
- Simplify.
How about you? What are yours? Post them below — or post a link to your own blog entry.
These are worth thinking about as we enter the New Year.
- The transmission of information does not equal the creation of understanding.
- More time does not usually create better decisions.
- The message you are preaching is not nearly as persuasive as the message you are living.
Friday in Allentown, a robber walks into a Wachovia bank branch in Allentown, PA.
Intends to rob the place.
Picks a 78-year old bank teller as his target. I guess he figured she would be a pushover.
Boy was he wrong.
Our Spunky Septuagenarian, whose name is Helen Roth, gave the robber a piece of her mind – but didn’t give him ANY money.
She told him to scram.
And that’s what he did.
Here’s The Million-Dollar Question
I wonder… if it was me, would I have done what Helen did?
What about you?
Sometimes all we can do in a scary situation is the brave thing. That’s what Helen did.
And you know what? This danged recession is just like that robber.
Wants to take our money. Unfairly.
Already has taken some people’s jobs and businesses.
But in my heart of hearts, I don’t believe we need to give in. I think the WRONG ANSWER is to start shaking in our boots, handing over the money bags to Mr. Recession as if he were a gun-toting bank robber.
Because there ARE answers, Faithful Reader.
How To Deal With A Robber Named Recession
In today’s world, you have a power never available in previous recessions – you have the Internet.
You can start a new business on the Internet. With less than $100.
There are dozens of ways to make a very good living online. Such as:
- Sell information (how-to guides, etc.)
- Sell services (web design, writing, programming, etc.)
- Open your own store in the world’s biggest mall (eBay)
- Hang out your shingle as a consultant.
And the list could be much longer, but you get the idea.
OR…
You can save your EXISTING business using the power of the Internet. No traditional advertising required. How?
Just use some basic direct response techniques to give your business a “cash infusion”. (This is a bit more complex than the first option I mentioned, but there’s plenty of information out there on the danged ol’ Internet on how to do this, much of it on this very blog, and teaching you that stuff was not the point of this missive anyway).
So what is my point?
Simple.
Stop trembling behind the counter.
Stop making excuses (”I’m too old”… “it’s not fair”… “I don’t know what to do”…) and just, if I may be permitted, have some guts.
If the recession is robbing YOU of sleep, peace of mind, or money…
…look that robber in the eye and say, “Not today, Mister. Get outta here!”
Helen will applaud you.
And so will I.
‘Nuff Said,
Ray
I’m reading a book about Teddy Roosevelt.
I wanted to share something with you I just read from President Roosevelt.
Stick with me, Hoss – it’s worth it.
If you’ve ever been falsely accused…
If you’ve ever had anyone spread lies or deceit about you…
Celebrate!
Vocal critics are sending you a signal…
Read more…
What good is a “mastermind group”?
Ask Darth Vader.
I mean, for almost a DECADE we all thought Darth was the villain of Star Wars.
And after more than 20 years in the making, the series of movies in the Star Wars saga tells the whole story.
Darth Vader started out as a good guy.
He got off track. WAY off track.
Then, in the end, he did the right thing. Read more…
Funny story.
Back in my radio days, one of the shows I was in charge of was a morning radio team.
And this particular morning team had a regular feature where a couple of psychotherapists woud come on each week.
When I say a “couple”, I mean it. They were actually a COUPLE, and they were both actually THERAPISTS (can you imagine the dinner table conversations?).
Anyhow, I knew this couple only as characters on this particular morning show. “Judith and Jim” was how I knew them. And I knew only their voices.
Fast forward a few years later.
I had left the radio business, and was at an Internet Marketing seminar.
During one of the presentations, I noticed this couple sitting near the front, and I noticed they were asking lots of questions. And their voices sounded familiar. And their names were… Judith and Jim.
We connected for the first time in person, and we’ve been friends ever since. (Okay, so it was “funny” as in “coincidence” and not funny as in “LOL”).
To continue my story…
Read more…
It had been a long day on the road, and last night I was wiped out. Tired. Exhausted.
So I was not thrilled when my wife called to me from our home office saying I just had to come watch this video on YouTube.
Yet, a few minutes later, I was watching it with tears in my eyes.
I decided I would write a post about the video today, only to find my colleague Clayton Makepeace beat me to the punch. Read Clayton Makepeace’s post on Susan Boyle here.
And watch the video for yourself by clicking here.
How many times have you heard self-help or business gurus talk about how they ‘uncovered’ the ‘real secrets’ of success? Hundreds? Thousands?
Right. Me too.
Well, let me save you some money and time. Forget the gurus for a moment.
Here is the real, true, ‘Master Secret of Success’:
Just get started!
Don’t laugh.
The problem most business people, entrepreneurs, and companies have is that they spend far too much time coming up with new buzzwords and management systems — and almost zero time just getting down to the work that needs to be done.
For the individual or entrepreneur, I offer this tactic that will help you ‘get started’ on something that will generate new revenue…
Think carefully about your answer to this question: If you could only do one thing to generate revenue immediately, what would that one thing be?
I really want you to think about this.
If it was a “must” – for instance, if it meant being able to pay the mortgage on your house this month – what one thing
would you do right now? Some possible examples:
- Write a letter and mail it.
- Make a phone call.
- Send an email.
- Drive to see a prospect in person.
- Complete and deliver a proposal.
Okay, do you have your “one thing”? Great. Write it down. Then…
JUST GET STARTED!
When it’s done, do the whole exercise over again.
I know that right about now you’re thinking, ‘Ray, this is the most elementary, simple, stupid thing I’ve heard all week.’
That’s okay. Try it anyway – and after you have tried it, I’d love to hear from you with your success story.
And remember, you heard the Master Key To Success right here. In case you forgot already, it’s this:
Just get started!
Have you ever noticed that over the years, you tend to do pretty much the same things? What I mean is, if you’re a reader you remain one, if you’re a writer you tend to write, if you’re a procrastinator you tend to keep procrastinating, and so forth.
I think one of the real tricks of success is to simply recognize these things you tend to do, and then find ways to make these tendencies support your success. In fact, I think most people are miserable because they fail to do just that. Instead of working with their tendencies in order to succeed (almost effortlessly), they identify their tendencies as the problem and vow to change.
That, my friend, is called swimming against the river. And while you may get credit for working your tail off while doing it, you’re not going to make much progress relative to the shoreline.
Case in point: for the longest time I was worried about my information addiction.
And make no mistake… I am an info-addict.
Just this morning, I read the six magazines I bought yesterday. Read part of a book. Checked out the over 1,000 new items in Google Reader. Watched a brilliant little video by Ed Dale over at the Thirty Day Challenge site. And sifted through 52 emails (it was early, and it’s the day after a US holiday, so email was light this morning).
I have dozens of PDFs in my “To Read” folder on my Macbook Pro. I have dozens more videos and audios to go through in my “To Listen” and “To Watch” folders.
And once upon a time I thought something was wrong with me because of this kind of behavior. So I struggled against it. I read books about it. I read articles about it. I listened to self-help material about it. Is anyone other than me seeing the irony yet?
One day I stumbled across an article by Dan Kennedy in which he detailed his working habits… and I was shocked to discover they were identical to mine (at least when it came to info-consumption)! And Dan saw it not as a weakness to be changed… but rather as a strength to be nurtured.
That was life-changing for me.
It gave me a way to stop struggling against my natural tendencies, and to embrace the way God made me. That tendency to process large quantities of unrelated information allows me to form connections between ideas, concepts, and methods that I would not possess if I limited my information intake. So now I structure my work and my routine in such a way that my behavior in this regard in strengthened, reinforced, and nurtured — and then put to profitable use in my writing.
I look for ways to channel that stream of information so that it’s not wasted.
For instance, I found this excellent piece by Chris Brogan on focused blogging just this morning. You can bet I will be implementing many of Chris’s suggestions in my own routine.
Another source of inspiration and information on effective ways to channel my own natural tendencies is at the blog of my new friend Brian Clark (we met in Vegas last week at a blogging/marketing get-together). Brian’s site, Copyblogger, is an excellent resource no self-respecting copywriter or blogger should ignore.
So what does this all mean to you?
In my experience, it means that if you find yourself fighting the same old battles (chronic lateness, procrastination, forgetfullness), you’ve probably unwittingly been holding yourself back by resisting your own gifts.
If you have trouble with authority, why work in a job when it’s clear you’d be happier as an entrepreneur?
If you are always late for appointments — why not just stop making appointments (Arnold Shwarzenneger reportedly refuses to make appointments with anyone, and he seems to be doing okay running the state of California).
And if you have tendencies that are frowned upon by others — for instance, sleeping during the day and staying up all night — why not look for a way to turn the tendency into an asset (for instance, by working via Internet with clients or companies in a different time zone… where suddenly YOU are the early riser!)?
My friends Frank Kern and Jason Moffatt are both self-admitted “lazy surfers”… yet they’ve managed to turn these personality “quirks” into a financial asset. Frank and Jason both market products and information to other people who are drawn to the very personal traits that would be frowned upon in most business settings.
Just because certain tendencies, behaviors and attitudes are not “acceptable” in one context does not mean those qualities are “bad”. It simply means — at least in my experience — you need to find a different context! And that decision — how you live your life — is (for most of us) entirely a choice.
(And to ward off the inevitable objections to my premise: yes, I recognize that there are behaviors and “tendencies” that are illegal, immoral, and unethical. That’s not what we’re talking about here, okay? Anything that falls into those three categories should be jettisoned from your life. ‘Nuff said on that.)
Now take a moment to think about this…
In what ways could your “limiting tendencies” become strengths?
How could your re-arrange your life to make it so?
If you can find positive, proactive ways to answer those questions, you just might find yourself more productive, profitable, and happy.
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By Ray Edwards | January 8, 2010 
