More Led, Less Driven

Today's post is a Guest Post written by Kevin Monroe. Kevin is a writer, speaker, and coach whose passion is connecting high achievers like you to your higher purpose in life. He is a member of my Regency Mastermind Alliance. I know you'll find his Guest Post helpful and wise.
~ Ray Edwards

Admit it…you’ve slipped away from date night, the kid’s soccer game, or family dinner to steal one more check of your email just in case that urgent inquiry or response arrived.

You know, the one confirming the big order you’ve been waiting on. Or the signed contract. The next steps on the project. The response from your boss, client, or co-worker.

While you’re at it, you quickly flit over to check the stats from your latest email blast to see how many opens or clickthroughs there were to that killer email you sent out yesterday. After all, a lot can change since you last checked. Even if it was just 30 minutes ago.

Who knows, it may have gone viral.

And then there’s that dip into Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter just to see how many hearts, shares, likes, or RTs you’ve received.

That was a killer image and clever post. Who could resist sharing?

It’s like you’re on a one-person crusade and no matter how much you do, it never seems to be enough.

Your worst fear? It will never be enough!

You know what? You’re right.

At least, not as long as you have the mindset, “If it’s to be, it is up to me”.

This is not a description of the purpose-driven life. It’s simply a driven life.

I know. Because it’s the life I live and lead when I’m striving and struggling to finish by human effort that which God birthed and initiated in the spirit (Galatians 3:3).

Symptoms of the Driven Life

Here are a few of the symptoms of the driven life:

  • Frustration is high. In spite of all of your pushing, you’re just not making what you feel is adequate progress. At best you’re spinning your wheels and treading water. Or worse, you’re going backward and losing ground. Savings have dwindled, debts are mounting. You’re stuck in a rut.
  • Energy is low. It’s very tiring to be always on, always pushing, always engaged. So you self-medicate or most likely self-caffeinate (because “good Christians don’t do drugs”) by persistently pumping coffee or Coke through your body to pick you up and keep you up.
  • Anxiety is your most familiar emotion. Peace? You lost that a long time ago. Your mind is always “on.” Always busy running another “what if” scenario. What if this does or doesn’t happen? What’s my contingency plan? What else should I be doing? Who else should I be contacting? Where else should I be looking? Maybe it’s time to give up, go back and get a job.
  • Results are your top priority. What if enough people don’t respond? What if they don’t return my call or email? What will you do? What if too many respond, how can you manage the overload.

You have high levels of frustration coupled with low levels of energy multiplied by abundant anxiety and you’re worrying about results. You’re on a collision course with a meltdown, burnout, or worse.

Hmm, interesting isn’t it? Frustration, energy, anxiety, results. Detect any pattern there? What do these add up to? Are you living in FEAR?

I was.

And I was growing tired of the driven life, but not quite sure what needed to change or how to go about it.

Solution to the Driven Life

When we’re living a driven life, often we’re going it alone. Working only in our own strength, relying solely on your own resources. Pushing uphill.

Recently, I was reminded of something a rabbi friend taught me regarding the Hebrew understanding of time. Unfortunately, it’s something that we Christians, often miss.

For the Jew, the day begins at sundown, not sunrise. Observant Jews begin every morning with a prayer they utter before getting out of bed in the morning.

The Biblical basis for this prayer is Lamentations 3:22-23.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

This morning prayer, known as the Modeh Ani, recognizes that while we were asleep, God was at work. And as we awake, we join the rhythm God has already established for the day.

As the Psalmist frequently said, Selah! Pause! Let that soak in.

God established a rhythm for your day and for your life.

Rather than striving on your own to jump start your day and make something happen, join the flow of what God is already doing — that which he not only established and ordained, but has already initiated.

This is synergy on steroids!

Synergy comes from the Greek, synergos,  and literally means “working together”. In this case working together with God.

Another Selah!

God invites us to partner with him in what he is doing; to go with His flow.Click To Tweet

Would you rather be a self-starter — starting from what you have in you and what you can produce by yourself? Or live a synergistic life partnered with God?

Is that really a tough choice? I don’t think so.

Rather than beginning your day in fear, lack, and anxiety — why not begin aware of God’s faithfulness, abundance, and blessing?

Saul’s Other Conversion

If you’re familiar with the Bible, then you know Saul (later known as Paul) had one of the most dramatic conversions recorded in scripture.

When we look in on him in Acts 9 he was “still breathing threats and murder against the disciples.” He had just obtained arrest warrants granting him authority to hunt down, arrest, and incarcerate any believers he found in the city of Damascus.

Not only was he “lost”, he was driven.

Well, in case you don’t know or you need a refresher, on his way to Damascus he had an encounter with God. You may recall, he was blinded by the light, fell to the ground, and heard the voice of God asking, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?”

In that moment, Saul was converted. He went from being the chief persecutor of Christians and the church to being its primary advocate and apostle.

Yet there's another conversion that Paul actually experienced. We get a little more insight on this in Acts 26 when Paul, later in life, was relating his conversion experience to King Agrippa.

In that account of his conversion experience, he added a detail to his conversion experience not recorded in Acts 9. In Acts 26:14, Paul said, “I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’”

So what is a goad and what does it mean to kick against one?

Goads were sharp instruments farmers used to prod their oxen to move forward. The more modern analog would be the cattle prod. God had orchestrated situations and circumstances in Saul’s life to move him towards God's purposes and plans for Saul’s life.

Rather than moving towards them. Saul was resisting them. He was kicking against the goads.

Here’s the second “conversion” I see Paul experienced. He went from living a driven life to living a directed life. In many of the epistles, Paul talks about following the leading of the Spirit and how God directs us by his Spirit. Paul was led.

I think that offer still stands for us today.

Perhaps success comes not by being driven, but rather by being led.Click To Tweet

It's a choice I was recently reminded of. It is summed up in my new four-word mantra, More Led, Less Driven.

Instead of being always on and believing that “If it’s to be, it’s up to me,” I’ve accepted God’s invitation to daily join in the flow that He has established for my life and work each day.

Like our Jewish brothers and sisters, I’m starting each day with a prayer of acknowledgment.

It’s simple, yet profound.

Good morning God. Thank you that your steadfast love never ceases; your mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning — including this one. Great is your faithfulness. Let me enter into the flow and favor you have already set in motion for today and know the joy of living in synergy with you.

Will you join me?

Whether you see it or not, God is leading you on a pathway. I call it the Higher Purpose Pathway because God has a higher purpose for you, your life, and work. Let me help you gain the clarity and confidence you need to fulfill your higher purpose. Download The 5 Questions You Must Answer to Live Aligned with Your Higher Purpose. Your answers to these questions will help you live a “More Led, Less Driven life”.

Question: Ray likes to challenge readers to experiments. For the next 30 days, will you join in the More Led, Less Driven Life Experiment. Every day for the next 30 days, before you get out of bed, will you pray this prayer or your version of it? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

    Kevin Monroe is a writer, speaker, and coach whose passion is connecting high achievers like you to your higher purpose in life. His new book Profiles of Purpose: Stories of High Achievers Who Chose a Higher Purpose is available exclusively from

    Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

    • Here’s something I’ve added to help with my mindfulness and increase awareness of my progress in the More Led, Less Driven lifestyle. In my journal (Day One) I’m tracking MLLD Dx (More Led, Less Driven Day 1, Day 7, etc) and journaling my progress. It’s a great reminder and reinforces my awareness that it’s not all up to me or on my shoulders.

      Ray, I am extremely grateful for your friendship and mentorship.

      • Pam

        Enjoyed your post. I needed this reminder today! Thanks for writing.

        • So glad you enjoyed it Pam. Daily reminders are vital. Here’s a hack I learned from Ray, I’ve added alarms on my phone that go off several times throughout the day to keep me focused and centered.

      • Kevin, it’s a privilege to know you. Thanks for writing such a great piece for the blog. I know people are going to get a lot of value from it.

        • Thank you, Ray. The privilege is mutual. This post almost wrote itself…following the flow.

      • Dan Tredo

        When I first read your title Ray, I thought you’re talking about more Led Zeppelin. But then I caught on. I think I’ll take up your 30 day challenge. Your title reminds me of something John the Baptist said, “more of him and less of me”, which is something I say often. Thanks Ray, your poster was so touching and insightful. I really appreciate you.

        • Hey Dan,

          Let us know how the 30-day challenge goes for you.

    • Jeannie

      As a self-proclaimed self-starter, the content of this post hit home on several levels. Thanks for a fresh perspective on working with God instead of on my own.

      “Because it’s the life I live and lead when I’m striving and struggling to finish by human effort that which God birthed and initiated in the spirit (Galatians 3:3).”

      I look forward to living the next 30 days, and beyond, focused on More Led, Less Driven.

      • Well Jeanie,

        Sounds like we have a lot in common. Please keep me posted on your progress over the next 30 days. And remember, we’re seeking progress, not perfection.

    • Pingback: Why I Gave Up on the Purpose-Driven Life - Kevin Monroe()

    • Ashley

      Timely reminder. Poignant as usual. Thank you Kevin.

      • How great to read your comment here Ashley. Thanks for the kind words.

    • Thank you Ray and Kevin,
      Kevin Cullis suggested I check out your blog this morning, and I am grateful.

      Kevin M, the person checking the email and stats…you got me.
      I take the challenge, starting today. I recorded a version of your prayer to listen to a few times a day.
      A journal will be a nice way to keep focus.
      As for a “hack,” I have this little device called a “Spire” that vibrates when the wearer is stressed, or focused, depending on how you program it. This will be a reminder to be more led, less driven.
      Thank you for the much-needed reminder!

      • Hey Nanette sounds like we’ve share some of the same wiring (or programming). Please keep me posted on your progress.

    • MaryJulia

      I was so elated to open my email from you this morning and find a gold mine! Thank you so much for this revelation. I will begin to practice being led and not driven daily. I love this simple morning prayer too.

      • Thank you Mary Julia for the incredibly kind words. Keep us posted on your progress.

    • This is excellent! Since deciding to start my blog and write with the goal of helping others I’ve been feeling very “driven.” I have set goals and feel a lot of stress about achieving them. That said some of my other responsibilities are suffering. I need to get more led! Thank you for sharing!!

      • Happy to share and thrilled the content connected with you. Please keep us posted on your progress to live More Led, Less Driven.


    • Kevin I enjoyed your article. In my Christian faith tradition(Orthodox) we also believe the day starts at sunset and we also have beautiful morning prayers, “Arising from sleep I thank thee, O holy Trinity…Do thou now enlighten the eyes of my understanding, open my mouth to receive thy words, teach me thy commandments, help me to do thy will, confessing thee from my heart, singing and praising thine All holy Name: of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit”. Starting the day this way does indeed help me to join the “flow” of what God has already created.

      • Thanks Kristi for the comment and additional insight from the Orthodox tradition.

        Glad you enjoyed the post.