It is possible, perhaps even common, to get the desired behavior from another person for reasons completely different from your own. I offer this without commentary on what it might mean morally, or psychologically, merely as an observation.
When I was about 14 years old I wanted a job at a radio station. The problem is, the radio station wasn’t hiring. I hit upon the strategy of showing up with annoying regularity day after day, asking for some kind of job. Apparently the annoying part of my strategy worked: the manager of the radio station finally stopped in the lobby where I was waiting when they, looked at me and said, “if I give you a job, would you stop bugging me?”
I got what I wanted; he got what he wanted. Just not for the same reasons.
In the end, did the reasons matter? My point (and, with apology to Ellen Degeneres, I do have one) is that we should never confuse our own motivation for the other person’s motivation. Thinking about what motivates the other person in any negotiation is almost always a more effective basis for that negotiation.
Even though we may feel our reasons to be superior to those of the other party, our reasons are not the same as theirs.